Who Needs Rehab?
by Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare
Summary: Thanks to the Glee Drabble Generator, I was able to get out some of my writer's block and write for some awesome ideas. .:. Includes platonic or romantic Puck/Artie, Santana/Karofsky, Lauren/Finn, Quinn/Brittany, and Santana/Brittany. T for some cursing.
1. Partie: Masks, romantic

**A/N: So, everyone on Tumblr was playing around with the generator website gleekink(dot)web(dot)fc2(dot)com, so I decided to play around with it as well. And what do I get but a lot of really interesting and adorable prompts for some writer's-block-relieving drabble-writing! :D**

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><p><em>Puck  Artie – Masks  
>(AU. Personalities are the same, but Artie is <em>not_ in a wheelchair; the accident happened, but he was injured far less, even though his mother still died.)_

Every Halloween, Quinn Fabray and her parents host a huge party. But it's a bit of a masquerade, because at this particular party, masks as a must. They are literally mandatory; you have to keep one on at all times, because: "it's Halloween and you're supposed to be pretending to be someone else," Quinn had specifically elaborated on her invitations.

Puck personally liked to scoff at these; he would always go, crashing it or not, but he usually found a way to take off whatever goofy, movie-monster-themed mask he initially wore to it.

This year, however, was different, because they're sophomores now and they know more people thanks to the Glee Club, and what's more, everyone is still new and getting to know one another, which is a bit of a thrill, and for Puck, it's a way to pick up girls… or whoever suits his fancy.

So this time around, Puck goes, and he decides to wear a _V for Vendetta_ mask, because, hey, that graphic-novel-slash-movie is epic in all sorts of ways, and he can pull off that creepy smile pretty well.

When he goes to the party, though, it's a little difficult to distinguish guys from girls like he thought it would be, and there are a few people he doesn't even recognize.

Like Rachel Berry, for example. It takes her loud and skilled singing for him to figure out that this babe in a smokin' hot lime green dress with a pearly, pale green, silver-laced, white-feathered Marti Gras-looking mask to match is actually the fellow Jew girl.

Brittany and Santana are easy to find, however. They are the only girls at the Halloween bash who are linking their pinkie fingers, and Santana is a foxy cheetah girl with a cat mask and Brittany is an adorable mermaid with a shell mask, and it's just so obvious that Puck simply shrugs and moves on.

He comes across a Darth Vader, though, fully equipped with a voice changer, and he doesn't know who this guy is, but he might suddenly be a little in love with him (because on the days that Puck chooses not to go commando, he usually wears ones of his five different pairs of _Star Wars_ boxers or briefs. He freaking loves those movies, and no one can ever take that fraction of nerddom away from him and his studly pride).

"Hey Vader," Puck greets with a smirk, and a soft chuckle comes out of the deep-voiced mask.

"Nice to see you, Puckerman," the masked guy replies, and sends a little shiver down Puck's spine. "Having a good time, I see."

Puck glances down at where the hidden eyes must be peering; in Puck's hand, there's a small flask full of some pomegranate Vodka. He shrugs. "Yeah, well. Gotta keep any party jumpin', right? Anyway, how'd you know it was me? This Vendetta mask is pretty discreet, I might add."

Darth Vader seems to smirk at that. "Come on, Puckerman; mask or not, your Mohawk sticks out like a sore thumb."

"Touché," Puck agrees, laughing. He tries to peer through the plastic to find the person's face. "Who are you, anyway?"

"Dance with me for a song and I'll tell you," Darth quips in that voice-changer-altered tone, and Puck can't help the grin that spreads over his face. He likes mysteries, deals, and challenges, and this feels like a wicked combo of all three.

"A'ight, Vader; you got yourself a deal. Would you like your song of choice to be down and dirty or slow and sweet? 'Cause I can go talk to Mr. DJ Matt up there and arrange either of the two."

The black-masked guy seems to cock his head, as if in thought. Then, slowly, he pokes Puck in the chest, answering, "Find a happy medium and I won't tell Schuester that you TP'd his house."

Puck goes white. "You know I did that? How? Where's your proof?"

"I was with you, of course. All of us footballers were."

"You're conniving and a bit of a cocky bastard, but I'm kind of digging it," Puck returns easily, slipping off into the crowd to change the song on request. He winds up with _P.Y.T._ by Michael Jackson, and it works, because it's a little dirty but kind of romantic at the same time, and Darth Vader seems satisfied.

They don't even care about everyone around them, because, really, with all the masks and bodies filling up Quinn's house, and with all of the loud music and food and chatter, no one notices or cares.

And so they fall into each other's arms easily, and they are nearly the same height – or they would be, if Vader's boots weren't so thick and Puck's own shoes weren't so flat. In fact, Puck's willing to bed the guy is shorter than him, and he's trying to remember who all came with him to toilet paper the Glee/Spanish teacher's house.

There was Karofsky and Azimio… Matt, Mike… Finn, Artie… and even Kurt, at first, until he chickened out because the dew was going to ruin his shoes and he didn't want to tarnish his perfect record. There were tow or three other guys, but Puck doesn't even talk to them, so why would they know him?

So… who…?

Not Finn, because Puck knows that Finn came as a old-fashioned guy-in-a-tux to match Rachel, and besides, Finn is much taller, even without boots like these. And Matt is the DJ, and Az is a different skin color and build than this, and in the colorful lights, Puck figures it has to be either Mike, Artie, or Karofsky.

"You gonna tell me who you are, yet?" Puck pushes as he moves his body around the Vader. He smirks. "Or do I have to take off that mask to find out myself?"

Darth chuckles again. "No, I'll tell you, Puck." And, without removing the helmet, he lifts the mask front and reveals his flushed, lightly sweating face with his crystal blue eyes and brown hair.

"Artie?" Puck says, disbelieving, amused, and a little affectionate. "I never wouldda thought, dude."

"Well, you never asked," Artie says in his normal voice, the changer off after he left the helmet lid up. "We probably have a lot in common that you don't realize. Like… do you like Halo? And man, I could live on waffles if they wouldn't make me fat."

And Puck's eyes shone a little then, because really, he never knew someone as perfect as Artie existed. "Hell yeah, I like Halo! Best game series _ever. _And waffles are my life, don't even _joke._"

It isn't until later when the masks are shed at the end of the party that Puck asks Artie to "hang out sometime," even though he really means, "go out on a date." But Artie says yes, and that's all that really matters, 'cause, hey, Puck thinks he might actually want something more for once, be it with another guy or not.


	2. Karopez: Disabilities, platonic

**A/N: As a very thoughtful reviewer pointed out, this drabble can possibly be taken as "homosexuality is a disability." BUT THAT ISN'T TRUE. The way I meant for this to sound... was that Santana and Dave feel like being gay is wrong, and that they're afraid of how people will view them because of it, even though it isn't wrong or a disability or any of that, since I believe that it isn't. Still, this drabble is about their own fears, not the truth. **

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><p><em>Santana  Karofsky – Disabilities_

He slushies her because he has to, because he's expected to, and because he's too afraid of her not to.

She's everything he can't dare to be.

Santana left the Cheerios for Glee Club. She clearly is a lesbian by the way she acts with Brittany, despite having slept with almost everyone on the football team (save for Karofsky, and he isn't sure, but maybe not Az, either).

But, like him, Santana has her disabilities: she doesn't want the label or whispers. She hides behind sleeping with other guys to mask her feelings for her best friend. She sabotages other people's relationships because she's terrified of being in the one she wants to be in. And above all else, she takes things personally and acts like a bitch to hide her pain.

She is so similar to Karofsky that it terrifies him.

Because he's disabled, too. He's unable to admit to being homosexual, to liking Kurt Hummel (and consequently driving him away just so Dave could indirectly spare himself the humiliation), and he can't seem to stop himself from caring far too much about what others think of him, so he cowers behind the dumb-jock-bully stereotype, even going as far as to purposely drop his own grades and harass the Glee Club to prove it, even though he would love nothing more than to join them.

But he has to keep up appearances.

And so does Santana.

Hence, their disabilities. Their problems, their flaws, their pain, their unaccepted sexualities, their lives.

Because there must be something wrong with him and her for not knowing what to do with themselves except to be what they are, act how they do, and avoid what they know deep down in their cores about themselves.

But Santana can at least progress far enough to confess to the girl she loves.

Dave can't even do that much. He kissed Kurt, but it's not the same. It didn't settle right. There were no tears, no softly exchanged words, nothing romantic about it.

And for that, all of that, the combination of every last aguish-inducing detail…

That's why he has to give the poor girl a slushie facial.

_It's because of their similar disabilities._


	3. Laurinn: Death, platonic

_Lauren / Finn – Death_

Some people mourn the death of a loved one, the death of a relationship, or the death of a pet. But not Finn Hudson. He mourns all sorts of deaths, one of which being, in this case not too similar to the Grilled Cheesus case, the death of his iPod

Mind you, it was a very expensive, very new (at the time), very large-gigabyte, very handsome iPod; all 160 GB and chrome charcoal colored and constantly in a case to keep the mirrored back as shiny as possible. It held all 4,000-something songs of his, varying in artists and bands and eras and styles. It held about 1,000 movies, too; short music videos to skits to clips from TV shows and just about anything else that made Finn smile when he discovered it on YouTube.

It was half of his life, that iPod. It helped him memorize songs for Glee Club, it helped him study for tests or finish his homework, it motivated him to practice for football or complete something in gym class, and above all else, that iPod helped him through the sad times and the glad times, time and time again.

So when that iPod died – when its weakening battery finally failed and all of the information was lost and the thing refused to charge or turn on or plug into a computer any longer, and all while the warranty was about two years from being out – Finn cried.

He legitimately wept over the lost device, because he couldn't afford another and his birthday had already passed and Christmas is still so far away, and he had no job, so how was he supposed to get another? He still has all of the songs and videos on his computer, of course, but it's not the same as being portable! His iPod could record voice memos to help his scatterbrain remember things, and the notes (done via NotePad, thank you) were usually bits and pieces of review that he would check over before taking a test, to refresh his memory.

It was half his life, and now it was gone.

Finn cried and cried and no one could quite understand or begin to get him to tell them why. He looked pathetic and unlike himself and no one really knew why he was so devastated over something.

That was, so to speak, until one unexpected person got through to him.

"So your precious MP3 player died? Big whoop! Suck it up, Hudson; 's not like you lost CD after MP3 after boom box over and over again because your family hates your taste in music and your siblings think its fun to roughhouse all the time and break things. And it's not like you have to pay for it all with your own money. So who cares, all right? You'll get another one and everything will go back to normal. So stop your bitching and join the rest of this dumb club."

Lauren. Lauren Zizes. She snapped him out of him, made him realize what a fool he's being, and return to himself.

After Glee, he approached her with his half-smile and said, "Thanks, Lauren. You're right; I shouldn't cry when technology fails me. It can always be replaced, even if it's a little expensive."

She smirked. "That's right, Hudson. Now move outta my way."

And he did, but not before he lightly touched her shoulder in extra thanks as she walked by.


	4. Quittany: Domescity, romantic

_Quinn / Brittany – Domesticity_

No one ever expected them to be together.

They were only friends before. The three of them; Quinn, Santana, Brittany. Three Cheerios, three friends, a trio of beauty, an unholy threesome. But they went out with boys, dated boys, had sex with boys, and never thought of one another.

Out loud, anyway.

Santana feel in love with Brittany somewhere along the way, and after some denial, realized it and confessed. But Brittany didn't know what to do. She loved Santana, she loved Artie, she loved people in general, she loved who she felt close to, loved who supported and cared for her in return.

And then there was Quinn.

Quinn lost trust in boys. After Puck and Finn and Sam and Finn again and Sam again and Puck again all within the few short years of high school, she was sick and tired of their types; the macho-type, the sweet-type, the clueless-type, the selfishness, the crude humor, the _everything._ Men lost her interest. Men lost their flavor. She didn't want men around her any more; they disgusted her and didn't understand her.

And somehow along the way, Quinn developed feelings for a girl she thought she hated: Rachel Berry.

But it wasn't until rejection and experimentation in college and stumbling across her old friend Brittany again that things began to make sense for Quinn.

Because Brittany and Santana had a long, amazing relationship throughout their senior year and college, but things started to fall apart when Santana was hurt by Brittany's job acceptance in California, so far away from her, and in the heat of the argument, there was sex and crying and suddenly… the end. Santana couldn't take the pain. So she left before Brittany could be the one to leave.

And that's the state Quinn found the other blond in about a year later. They re-met in a small town along the coast of Cali, at a beach. They talked. They swapped life stories. They shared an unexpected kiss.

And since then, things have been unexplainably wonderful between them. With the law back into effect for gay marriage, Brittany and Quinn decided to finalize their relationship of five years with a certificate of marriage. They adopted a sweet baby boy. They raised him, cared for him, and established a simple routine of domesticity between them.

And they were _happy._

Because it was simple and easy to get lost in caring for James (their adopted son) and making breakfast for each other every other morning and going to museums or parks or errand stores with their son. It was easy to be happy. Simple to think about bills and taxes and keeping up on their house and seeing their son off to school. And it made them happy to know that they weren't alone, that they had each other, even though it was strange to be without Santana or Artie, or Finn or Puck.

But they managed. And managing is all that truly mattered to Brittany and Quinn.


	5. Brittana: Love Triangles, romantic

_Brittany / Santana – Love triangles_  
><em>(KDFJAKFDGK HOW DID THIS RANDOM GENERATOR KNOW?)<em>

"She can't lie to me. It's something that she isn't capable of doing. So I know, Santana. I know what you said to her."

It starts like this, just this: Artie wheeling himself up to Santana at the end of Glee Club, when everyone else had filed out of the room, and Mr. Schue was too busy arguing with Coach Sylvester to pay them any mind.

Santana looks puzzled for a moment; or, at least, she fakes it. Inside, her stomach is growing cold and her heart is beating faster, and she wishes that Karofsky were here, because after a complicated, unusual process beginning with a slushie to the face and continuing to plans to go to prom together, the ex-cheerleader and the bullying-jock had become friends. Close friends. Because they _understand _each other. And to everyone else who doesn't know them, they're dating. But really, Dave is her support and she's is, and that's _all _that they are.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Artie. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get home. There's an antsy cat waiting for me who will be pissed if I don't feed it before my parents get home from work."

And she moves to push past him, but that damn wheelchair of his is fast, and he uses it to twirl and race ahead of her, planting himself firmly before her again.

"Your cat can wait, Santana. You know exactly what I'm talking about, but you're just refusing to face it. But it needs to be brought up." He narrows his eyes up at her through his thick-rimmed black glasses. "No one else is around, Santana, and I need confirmation. Just say it once and I'll let you go."

"What're you gonna do if I don't, huh? _Run me over? _Just leave me alone, Artie. It's none of your business."

It's always a safe, default thing to say: 'it's none of your business.'

Even though they both know that it _is _his business. And he reminds her of that fact.

"I think it is, Santana. Brittany is my _girlfriend. _And when she's troubled, I ask her what's wrong. When she tells me what's worrying her, I try to make it right. I love her, Santana. More than Tina, more than anyone I've ever dated or laid eyes on. So when she tells me that she can't take it anymore, and she has to tell me a secret, I listen. And when that secret winds up being the truth – that she loves _you, _too, and that you love her – I need to know where _I_ fit in. What I should _do_. Who I should go to. And I figured, out of everything that's been happening around here… Just confronting you would be best. And you know it."

When Artie is serious, he drops his "wigger" speech and persona. He even somehow loses some of his nerdier qualities, and with a sickening flip of the stomach, Santana even notices that Artie loses the wheelchair, too. He somehow is taller, and she somehow feels smaller, and though she refuses to ever show it or let it be known, she's downright _intimidated. _

But when Santana Lopez is intimidated, she shrugs it off and acts defensive. Like Karofsky does.

"Fine. You want a confession? Here it is, Cripple Boy: I love her. I love Brittany like you do, like I've never loved anyone before. She's the only person I want. And yes, that implies that the thing I have with Karofsky is a lie. It is. But you know what? It doesn't matter. You can keep her. Because no matter what she says she feels back, it can't be as true as she thinks, because if she really loved me, she'd leave you. And she hasn't, has she? So this little love triangle we have goin' on here – it's going to stay that way. I'm the third wheel in it, pun fucking intended. So leave me be about it, all right?"

And this time she's able to push past him as he blinks in wonder, trying to wrap his mind around all that she said… and all that she _hadn't._


End file.
